Bed Wetting


(United States)

So this is more of a physical connection to my dreams. I have wet the bed for as long as I can remember. I'm turning 17 in 17 days and I still wet the bed. My mother wet the bed until she was 16 and my father until he was 15, but they both said that by the time they were 13 it was only about once a month or less and it was controllable, like once they started to wet the bed they would wake up. Anyway, since I was little, my dreams would relate to wetting the bed. I think when I was little the bed wetting was a genuine issue because I had a very small bladder. But if I had to go to the bathroom, I would dream that I was looking for a bathroom. Whether I was at school or home or wherever, I would always have to be on a toilet in my dream before I wet the bed. Sometimes I would realize that I was dreaming and needed to wake up before using the bathroom but other times I was completely unaware until I was on the toilet in my dream and had already wet the bed. Now that I'm older, I do wet the bed less often, but when I do, it happens several nights in a row. For instance, last month I had gone for a while without wetting the bed, but the night after I saw my best friend for the last time before she moved, I wet the bed. I wet the bed for a week straight after that. I realized that it was odd that it happened after my best friend moved and I wondered if it is because of a sense of abandonment. But the way that my dreams correspond with bed wetting now-a-days is that I still have the dreams in which I'm looking for a bathroom. But now, once I find the bathroom and I start to wet the bed, I realize that I am dreaming but instead of stopping I figure that it's too late and I just continue to dream instead. Do you think my bed wetting problem has to do with a sense of abandonment? Or a return to my childhood? Or the fact that I'm a very deep sleeper and it's hard for me to recognize when I'm dreaming because my dreams are realistic? I know your area of expertise isn't bed wetting but I hoped you could help! Thanks!

Comments for Bed Wetting

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by: John

Hello,
enuresis (or bedwetting) may not be my area of expertise in a techincal sense but I lived with it for the first 16 years of my life. It can be a debilitating condition that causes much shame... I know it did for me. I basically couldnt live a normal life as a kid because of my bedwetting. I never had freinds over until much later in life for fear they would sit on my bed and hear the crunch of my plastic sheet. I never stayed over friends houses either. I'm sure you know how it goes...
What I have come to work out is that it is related to stress. Moreover, it's related to anxiety. What I notice about kids in therapy - and myself in hindsight - is that we do not feel safe and secure in our family settings. You say your parents were both bed wetters too. That suggests they are both likely highly anxious individuals also who did not feel safe in their families. Thus, you have two people of similar ilk coming together to produce... YOU! My upbringing was similar in the sense that my parents had anxiety (Dad was an orphan, Mum's father died when she was little.. so yes, abandonment or fear of it causes anxiety = bed wetting).
It goes to say, their anxities as people have likely had an influence on you and how you see the world. I'm guessing you are quite a fearful person who feels disempowered a lot; as if you can't assume control over life. Just like your bed wetting and dreams; you are aware what is taking place in the dreams but don't do anything because you don't take control. It is a reflection of your waking life. I remember when I stopped wetting the bed. It was the day I learned to stick up for myself and committed to no longer being subject to bullying or torment. It was the day I took back my power to control my own destiny. It was the day I decided not to be scared of life.
Take care.
J

i can help NEW
by: Anonymous

It stops when you get away from the shunning and not knowing where you stand right at the moment. being scared fo things you can not control.
Sent to bed early..being told you won't amount to anything..not knowing where to turn or how to do or what to do in life.. no direction of yourself.
Abandonment of you by those you know should love you.. being shunned by family members and beaten by bullies and left out of things kids do..you dont get invited to do...you are not socialable...you are not proud of who you are because you have no pride because you have to hide every aspect of your life.. wishing you could be a kid and can't be..because of your seceret..bed wetting.
It is not your fault.. your confidence is below zero..you cannot obtain goals for the goals of your age group.
You tend to stand alone and lost in conversation and public activities....being told you cannot do this or that because it will reviel your bedwetting.
Doing bad scores in school because you know your seceret but cannot share such a hidden shame. fear of those you could be dating or visiting or spending the night with as a kid does in a sleep over.
IT is NOT your fault...it is the fault of those over you...it is the fault of people being bullies to your problem..
but there is good news for you! When YOU have had enough... WHEN you come to the understanding it is your ability to control your bed wetting.. and when YOU take steps to put a night light in your dark scary room...and when YOU reject the fact that you have to limit yourself what you deserve to have as a kid..THEN and only then will you stop wetting the bed.
Bed wetting is a way of being lazy because you dont want to go out of a warm bed into the dark hallway to go pee. Because youre scared of the dark and what may be hidden in front of you in the dark along the way to the bathroom.
Problem solved.. put a bucket next to your bed.. when you have to pee or feel like in your dream you have to pee.. open your eyes.. see the night light you put into your room. and go pee into the bucket. In the morning dump the bucket into the toilet. and carry on with life.
Having a small blatter like i too had..was and is a medical thing. You have to hold your pee for as long as you can then go pee.. do this everytime you have to pee even a little..when you can .....this will stretch your blatter. and it works ..it takes time.. dont hurt yourself..just hold your pee untill it becomes almost impossible to hold it anymore then go pee.
It takes some months to stretch that bladder.
I hope this helps you....it did me.

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