Dream Interpretation: Death of a Friend

by Olivia
(Pennsylvania)

Visitor's Dream: 'The first thing i remember about it is being at a party with my ex-girlfriend, but for some reason we were dating again. I remember drinking something, i think it was white wine, I remember telling her how excited I was about Beltaine (a holiday i celebrate on May 1) and i remember kissing her. the next thing i remember is getting in a van with a few of my friends (including my best friend and my girlfriend) and going to Hot Topic in the middle of the night, but they had Halloween stuff out despite the fact that I had said earlier that it was spring. Wandered around there for a bit then got back in the van. In the van, my girlfriend was in the backseat with me and she had her head on my lap. I remember her saying something about "i love him so much, i would really do anything for him...im so worried that i wont be good enough" (we're in an open relationship since she isnt out of the closet yet, and she has a boyfriend, and although i worry sometimes that she'll leave me, she recently told me shes going to break up with him anyway). That made me really sad, but we got back to the party and i wandered around the house til I fell asleep. I woke up next to my ex girlfriend and someone told me that my friend had died during the party (she's been sick, she has a rare disease that causes her a lot of pain, although i dont think its fatal). i remember this making me really depressed, along with my ex girlfriend (even though she doesnt know the friend), and when i was consoling her, she looked up and saw the friend's face, which asked her something, although i dont remember what. She answered, and I remember looking up and seeing the face but i acted like i thought she was going crazy. After that my mum picked me up from the party (she was with my brother) and we all went for a walk around the parking lot while i mourned the death of the friend, but I wouldn't tell my mum why i was so sad. shortly after I woke up feeling very sad, confused, and oddly enough, hung over.'

Comments for Dream Interpretation: Death of a Friend

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by: John

Hello Olivia,
thanks for all the detail. It certainly makes things easier...
I believe this dream is to do with confusion about where you stand with your g/f and perhaps feeling as though you don't have the same things in common. I would go so far as to suggest you had this type of connection with your ex and likely miss it(?). The reason I say this is that during the dream your appreciation of things important to you are experienced with your ex.
The travel to Hot Topic (sorry no clue what that is) in the van away from the party (where you were happy) to this place "out of season" and displaying Halloween stuff may be symbolic of you feeling out of place and as if you are not feeling like yourself (wearing a mask maybe?(or your g/f who hasnt come out of the closet)).
Your return to the party invariably ends up with you waking next to your ex and experiencing the death of your friend. Again, the more intimate aspects seem reserved for her.
The ex seeing the friend's face is interesting given you pretended the face wasnt there and their conversation didnt take place. It is as though you may have been wanting to continue the intimacy of consoling her, perhaps there are old wounds relative to insecurity remaining from that relationship? That you secretly wish to be back there or that your current relationship was as intimate as the former one?
The end part where you are grieving but do not inform your mother might be about your inability to discuss the intimacy you seek with others (even those closest to you)?
Let me know what you think.
J


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