Dream Interpretation: Lost but found by my Father

by Sarah

Visitor's Dream: I dreamt that I ran away from home, and went to a hotel room with my boyfriend (in my waking life, my parents don't know about my boyfriend because they won't approve of him so I keep him a secret). I went into the hotel room with my boyfriend and we proceeded to have sex. I made sure I locked the door as I came in. Half way through sex, I see the door seemed to have opened. It was strange. I then got worried and I don't know what made us stop doing what we were doing half way through. I felt bad, and said goodbye and left to go back home. It was nighttime already and the streets were crowded. It was cold, and I remember vividly that all the shops on the street had really colorful and lit store signs. I remember being lost and just feeling that my parents will find out and everything is going to go bad. My parents will never trust me again or forgive me for keeping it a secret. I couldn't find my way home, so I was scared of being alone in the dark, cold streets at night. I was basically without any hope, just a hopeless soul. In my waking life, I don't have a good relationship with my father. He is a businessman and is extremely busy. I never saw him much during my childhood as he was either on business trips or at work. I also found out at a young age that he was repeatedly cheating on my mother with multiple women. Although they remain married and officially together, I remember witnessing a lot of fights between them due to my mother finding out countless times, therefore, as I grew older, I had a lot of resentment toward my father(and men in general.) He never tried to get close with me and nor did I. He's very unpredictable and not very nice to me most of the time. As I was lost in my dream, I remember seeing my dad's car pass me by on the road. He looked at me, and I looked at him like he was my last resort. He was in a white car (in real life, his car is black). He then stopped, came out of the car. Ran to me, and held onto me so tight cause I was freezing. I proceeded to explain myself cause I was so scared of his response. He then said "it's OK, it doesn't matter, what matters is that you are here now, now let's go get you something warm to drink so you don't get sick" as he had his shoulders around me. I was so shocked. I expected screaming and yelling about where I was all night long. He took me to drink some tea in one of the cafes on the street and he looked at me as I drank my tea with the biggest smile. It was so unlike him. In my waking life, he's a very serious person and very professional and it's hard for him to be emotional or ever see him expressing any emotions, such as smiling. He is always critical of me as well, so I was so surprised he didn't want to hear my reasoning.


I really would want someone to explain to me what this dream means. I think it speaks something about my dad's and I rocky relationship. I appreciate your responses.'

Comments for Dream Interpretation: Lost but found by my Father

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by: John

Hello Sarah,
I believe this dream is a mixture of things but that the main message seems to be about an incongruence between what you have been told to be and how your parents have not led by example. It seems the entire dream is geared toward highlighting various conflicts in judgment and morality due to the inconsistencies in your upbringing. For example, you run away to have sex with your b/f at a hotel, then leave in the middle of it because something doesn't feel right. Think about this in respect to the affairs your father has had and the dishonesty, mistrust, and deceit in his relationship with your mother. In a sense, you may have repressed feeling re: deceit in the same manner as in waking life you hide your b/f (and I assume your sexual behaviour).
It also appears to me that there is a contradiction between you roaming the streets to head home whereby you decsirbe various aspects of fear (cold, night, alone) yet there are brights lights and people everywhere. However, you feel lost and alone because, I guess, you have been void of a relationship, with your father in particular, whereby you are given no direction, guidance, or love.
I believe the reaction of your father is what Freud termed, wish fulfilment, that is, your fathers response is how you would really like him to be. It is the ultimate, the epidimy of what you need.
Being lost even though you are trying to head home suggests, again, confusion. You describe feeling like a lost soul, and in essence, this dream highlights a need to gain direction in life. Not with regard to goals etc but with respect to understanding one self, your behaviour, your intentions, your value set, etc etc etc
Perhaps in order to be "found" by your father you need to first make him aware you are "lost".
J

re:
by: Sarah

It's spot on. I do feel like I've lost my 'values' and sense of 'self-respect' recently. In a way, it's to get back at everything that happened in my childhood. I need to work it out with my father but I still fear his reaction (as I did in the dream) but could his reaction in the dream be possibly what his reaction would be if I spoke to him about trying to maybe reconnect and start over?

Thanks John!

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by: John

Hi again Sarah,
I wish I could give you a guarantee. However, I cant. The dream indicates a strong desire on your behalf to connect with your father. I guess you have to trust in that and put yourself out there and see what comes back. As with all things in life, you dont always get what you want just because you want it. In this situation, at the VERY least, you will know where you stand if you are prepared to wear your heart on your sleeve. Anything else is a bonus.
I hope you get what you seek.
Thanks for your feedback. It is much appreciated.
J

Re:
by: Sarah

Hi John,

Thank you so much for the advice. It's very much appreciated.

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by: John

My pleasure Sarah. Keep me posted how it pans out for you.
J

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