Dream Interpretation: Recurring nightmares of rape

by S

Visitor's Dream on recurring nightmares of rape, sexual assault and violence: 'I've always dreamt a lot but not nearly as much as I do now. I've been having a week or so of constant nightmares that really is affecting my daily life. I can't get enough sleep. I walk up in terror and cannot go back to sleep in fear of more nightmares.


To give you a little background information about my history when it comes to the issue of violence and sexual molestation. As a young teenager(13), I had a relationship with a much older (in his 20s) who used to sexually molest me on regular basis. I wouldn't go in much detail but he didn't beat me up or rape me. My mother did beat me up quite often as a child. Sometimes using footwear and other objects. I never was raped but I developed this fear because every 'visit' I had with this older man, and when he touched me, I kept getting more and more scared. I always thought "how far will he go?" and my fear of intimacy started there and also my resentment for men (which was in the beginning encouraged by issues with my father)


In my nightmare, I was in a building that was scary, and dark. I remembering seeing a few of my girlfriends. They were sitting in a bar, having drinks. I remembering then trying to get to the bathroom, and I see this room with big windows. I saw a girl being viciously raped by this man. I saw him beat her up, rape her with objects and repeatedly beating her as he raped her. When I tried to run away, just turn away. It was too violent. I couldn't. I found myself in a room with locked doors, forced to sit and watch this woman as she gets beaten, and he eventually murdered her. She collapsed in a pool of blood. I remember wanting to run and tell my friends so I could save them. I remember thinking that their turn will be next if I don't do anything but every door was shut in my face. It was so violent and vivid that I woke up in terror. Like I witnessed a real life murder and rape.


The next night, I had a nightmare of being chased and raped by a man, who put me face down, and I remember feeling degraded wondering what's gonna happen, and how is my fate going to be. Those same feeling I felt when I was molested as a child. I felt shame. The man though seemed rather calm. Like he has done this before.

The next night, I also had a dream of being beaten up and raped. I didn't remember as much.

The night after that, I had a nightmare where I was chased but didn't know who is chasing me. I remember running for my life.

I feel like there is a theme with all these dreams. I also have had 2 rape dreams in the past 2 months or so (not including ones mentioned) and I feel like it's affecting my life. Especially the murder scene, It really left an impact. I do think of it quite often and it's scary..

I've posted here before and it really did help me understand my situation better. Please, I would appreciate any answer, specifically on ways I could help reduce the amount of nightmares I am having. I can't seem properly or relax. it's really affecting my emotional ad physical being.

Anything is EXTREMELY appreciated.'

Comments for
Dream Interpretation: Recurring nightmares of rape

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by: John

Hello S,
I believe the 1st dream is an attempt by the unconscious to force you to deal with your past in more ways than you think. Firstly, the big windows suggest you need clear observation of things. The rape and you being forced to watch no matter how much you try to escape is, I believe, the unconscious making clear that you are not entirely aware of the degree to which you may have been sexually abused in the past - that is, you possibly water it down or gloss over it in waking life. The extent of the violence is "overkill" and therefore highlights a need to point this out. Your need to "run" and tell your friends is not about rescuing them, it reflects to me perhaps how you do not deal with this issue in waking life. That is, you use an excuse not to remember (watching in the dream).
The other dreams link into this one. The theme of being chased might be symbolic of your past catching up with you. That you have shelved this stuff for too long and the unconscious is attempting to force it into the conscious for the sake of SAVING YOU.
J


Hi J,
by: S

Hi J,

What do you mean about myself not being aware of the degree that I've been sexually abused? Do you mean there are things that happened that I may not have been aware of? or that I'm not aware of the degree of the damage that it has caused? I'm asking because I had very early childhood memories of being put to bed by a family member and then as I fell asleep I remember they started to undress me. I don't remember the rest as I was very young and unaware of what was happening. I woke up the next morning and that family member wasn't there and my pants were down and the room door was left open. My older sister (who was about 4 years older than me, but I think she was still just around 12 years old at the time) used to mock me about having my bottom out while sleeping. They were vague memories so I never gave them the time of the day. I do wonder every now and then if anything really happened or were they just vague untrue memories (although my sister who is adult now still recalls teasing m about it) I'm just wondering if it has anything to do with that?
I'm sorry for my long responses, I just feel like there is a lot that this could mean and I just need to know so I can move on from there :)
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by: John

Hey,
long posts are fine, in fact they are preferred.
I'm not sure if the dream is about possible past abuse that you have forgotten, it could be. What I meant in my first post was that it might symbolise you having repressed information or misconstrued the extent of the perpetrators behavior so that it doesn't seem as bad as it was. This often happens for victims, particularly victims of sexual abuse, as they suffer much guilt and shame for distorting their thoughts about offences committed against them due (sometimes) to feeling like they were in some degree responsible.
Let me know what you think.
J

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