Dream Interpretation: Recurring nightmares of rape
Visitor's Dream on recurring nightmares of rape, sexual assault and violence: 'I've always dreamt a lot but not nearly as much as I do now. I've been having a week or so of constant nightmares that really is affecting my daily life. I can't get enough sleep. I walk up in terror and cannot go back to sleep in fear of more nightmares.
To give you a little background information about my history when it comes to the issue of violence and sexual molestation. As a young teenager(13), I had a relationship with a much older (in his 20s) who used to sexually molest me on regular basis. I wouldn't go in much detail but he didn't beat me up or rape me. My mother did beat me up quite often as a child. Sometimes using footwear and other objects. I never was raped but I developed this fear because every 'visit' I had with this older man, and when he touched me, I kept getting more and more scared. I always thought "how far will he go?" and my fear of intimacy started there and also my resentment for men (which was in the beginning encouraged by issues with my father)
In my nightmare, I was in a building that was scary, and dark. I remembering seeing a few of my girlfriends. They were sitting in a bar, having drinks. I remembering then trying to get to the bathroom, and I see this room with big windows. I saw a girl being viciously raped by this man. I saw him beat her up, rape her with objects and repeatedly beating her as he raped her. When I tried to run away, just turn away. It was too violent. I couldn't. I found myself in a room
with locked doors, forced to sit and watch this woman as she gets beaten, and he eventually murdered her. She collapsed in a pool of blood. I remember wanting to run and tell my friends so I could save them. I remember thinking that their turn will be next if I don't do anything but every door was shut in my face. It was so violent and vivid that I woke up in terror. Like I witnessed a real life murder and rape.
The next night, I had a nightmare of being chased and raped by a man, who put me face down, and I remember feeling degraded wondering what's gonna happen, and how is my fate going to be. Those same feeling I felt when I was molested as a child. I felt shame. The man though seemed rather calm. Like he has done this before.
The next night, I also had a dream of being beaten up and raped. I didn't remember as much.
The night after that, I had a nightmare where I was chased but didn't know who is chasing me. I remember running for my life.
I feel like there is a theme with all these dreams. I also have had 2 rape dreams in the past 2 months or so (not including ones mentioned) and I feel like it's affecting my life. Especially the murder scene, It really left an impact. I do think of it quite often and it's scary..
I've posted here before and it really did help me understand my situation better. Please, I would appreciate any answer, specifically on ways I could help reduce the amount of nightmares I am having. I can't seem properly or relax. it's really affecting my emotional ad physical being.
Anything is EXTREMELY appreciated.'